You're From Iowa If....

You're from Iowa if....

- you've never met any celebrities.... and you don't really care
- your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway
- "vacation" means, driving through the Amanas or going to Adventure Land
- you've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular
- you measure distance in minutes
- down south to you means Missouri
- you know several people who have hit a deer
- you have no problem spelling or pronouncing Des Moines
- you know the answer to the question, "Is this Heaven?" (no, this is Iowa)
- your school classes were canceled because of cold
- your school classes were canceled because of heat
- you've ridden the school bus for an hour each way
- you think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better"
- you know that stores don't have bags, they have sacks
- all the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable or animal
- you can locate Iowa on the US map
- you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked
- when asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say it was "different"
- you consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor
- people from other states love to hear you say Iowa and other words with "O's" in them
- you carry jumper cables in your car
- you drink "pop"
- you know what "cow chips" are
- you actually understand all these